The Poetry Corner - The Strangest Pages

The paper robots are under construction, Daniel has written multiple half finished pieces and the blog lives. I assure you that all these promises we've made you still stand true. It is just a matter of time before we shower you with this promised material.

This drought of content makes me even happier to introduce a new feature; The Poetry Corner. Bringing you some wicked-sweet verse from our new resident poet Parr, The Poetry Corner will set to lift you up, bring you down and everywhere in between.

The Strangest Pages

there are too many secrets
in this house, hiding under unsuspecting
Doormats, and clasped between
Dusty pages of books we have not touched
For years
They linger mischievously between sheets
And pillows and the words whispered
Between my parents in the dead of night
They lie in the words of my grandmothers'
Poetry, flashing like beacons
Waiting to be seen.

'Phantom Capsule' - Striking right at my mecha / papercraft orientated achilles heel.

A bit of a shift of tone from the ultra seriousness of previous posts here. As the title suggests, I have something of a weakness to anything involving giant robots or working with card and although I've never considered the possibility of tabletop gaming in the past, I've stumbled across a little something called 'Phantom Capsule', a cutesy table top strategy game that involves making all the pieces, getting your team of freshly made (minature) giant robots out there and beating up (minature) giant monsters using gameplay mechanisms so simple you can drag your ever humouring other half into it and she might just enjoy herself.

'cuteness' is an appealing factor thrown into the already unusual crossover of interests

Hopefully the experience of making and playing will live up to my childishly giddy expectations, so look foward to a review if I can drag some people to a kitchen table covered in a little, paper battlefield.

Exposé - PETA and the 97% kill rate.

PETA made the news in the videogaming world recently with the unveiling of Super Tofu Boy a parody of the newly released Super Meat Boy. Taking the latter's cast and reimagining the titular "Meat boy" as a rotting lump of animal flesh, PETA puts players in command of "Tofu boy", the Vegan friendly hero who steals away Meatboy's girlfriend before having to steal her back from the enraged (and implicitly impotent) former hero. The game and its about page spread the typical PETA spiel, with a focus on how Vegans "do it better".

Whilst some out there may be wondering what exactly PETA are hoping to achieve with a parody videogame that only makes sense to a extremely specific audience, an audience that stereotypically does not overthink its diet at that. It does not appear that unusual for the charity to make both unusualy specific and largely pointless protests. Whether it is protesting Obama's televised "Fly Slaughter", or organising virtual rallies against virtual baby seal culling (In an interesting twist, there are no actual virtual baby seals, indeed in game the player is required to partake in a scheme to help breed seals and is attacked if any animal is harmed), PETA is no stranger to spending large amounts of its members time and money on many other activities aside from rescueing and and ending cruelty to animals.

But do they even do that? When people think of PETA they tend to, rightly, think of protesters outside animal rescue homes, chanting slogans regarding the entrapment and treatment of the animals within. Surely then, one would think that with all the protesting PETA do outside such facilities that any animals they rescue or have handed to them at their headquarters are treated with dignity and respect, with every effort made to rehome the animal.

Apparently not.

Despite its $35,000,000 budget for 2009, PETA"impounded" 2366 animals in the same year, managing to only find homes for 8 animals. with 57 of those animals passed on to other animal rescue homes this means that 2301 animals were killed. a 97% kill rate. Since the year 2000, PETA has killed 21,537 "Unadoptable" animals. A designation for which there is no actual set criteria. That boils down to an average of over 2000 a year and five animals a day. If you look at their financial report for the year 2009 it turns out that PETA does not have a specific fund allocated to the care of "rescued" animals, nor does it have any program to encourage the adoption of its impounded animals. Instead the vast majority of its funds are spent on "Campaigns" and "Public outreach and education", in other words, parody video games, unairred advertisement campaigns, and trivialising the holocaust .

Alongside funding offensive and petty methods of protest (or education, depending on whether you're reading the news or PETA's financial announcements) PETA also fund organisations that are labelled as domestic terrorist threats. PETA's Lisa Lange admitted on FOX news that they had given $1500 to the ALF to support their activities. Alongside directly funding groups responsible for kidnapping journalists and arson attacks PETA also provides legal support to those charged in relation to these actions, having paid roughly $110,000 in legal aid to people connected to the group's actions, most notably Rodney Coronado after he was charged with connection to an arson attack that resulted in over $50,000,000 worth of damage.

For all its good intentions and public relations, it is an undeniable fact that over the years, PETA has not only been involved in missapropriation of donations but hypocrisy at its highest levels and has aided domestic terrorism. It has to be asked, if the majority of its supporters, especially those paying monthly donations, knew how little of their funds are going to actual living, breathing, animals and how much of it is going towards putting naked celebrities on billboards and denouncing animal testing, how long could PETA continue with its 97% kill rate?

Micro Music Review - Emiliana Torrini: Jungle Drum (single)

Emiliana Torrini

Jungle Drum

rough trade

9th March, 2009

The third single released from Emiliana's 7th album Me and Armini (3rd to be released outside of Iceland) takes a gigantic step away from the niche indie-folk sound of Fisherman's Woman and plants itself firmly back into pop territory. Starting with an infectious bass line, simplistic yet foot-tappingly catchy percussion and a synth lick for good measure the song wastes no time in grabbing our attention. Emiliana quickly comes in with lyrics that, whilst abandoning the depth of her previous album are much more suitable for a poppy crowd pleaser like Jungle Drum. Alongside the catchy chorus comes some simplistic scat that adds a distinctive layer to the song. The song builds up to a climax with an impressive scat solo, ending on an abrupt note that seems to fit the passionate, frenzied sound it builds towards.

All in all, the song seems to have been purposefully engineered to be catchy; a solid memorable bass line, fast paced percussion, just enough synth licks to keep the listener on their toes, memorable lyrics and a little vocal distinction from the scat that lends to song a edge, as a single, Jungle Drum is definately worth a listen for those into their pop and a download from those with more indie leanings.

You can buy Jungle Drum at Amazon, PLAY and all good online record stores. Take a gander at her LAST.FM and MySpace

Music review - Emiliana Torrini: Fisherman's Woman

Emiliana Torrini
Fisherman's Woman
Rough Trade
31st January 2005

I didn't set out to buy Fisherman's Woman, in fact I'd neither heard of Torrini nor her previous five albums until the day of purchase (although with three of those being exclusive to the singer's native Iceland , the fourth being a promotional affair and the fifth released when I was 10 years old at a time where Eiffel 65's "Blue" dominated the UK chart, I hope you'll forgive me) it was only upon the recommendation of the store owner who I had confessed an enjoyment of "quirky, alternative, female singers" (as he diagnosed it) to that I picked up the album.

It would be easy to pigeonhole Torrini and the album with that vague, yet entirely suitable, description. Her hushed singing voice and simple instrumentals, often consisting solely of an accoustic guitar, occasionally supported by a simple layer of piano and very little else would not immediately catch the casual listener's attention. The absence of any instantly memorable hooks contribute to the potentially throwaway nature of the album for anyone who was not either an existing fan or particularly taken by the gentle, indie-folk genre.

And in truth were it not for the endearing, comfortable and homely appeal of the album I probably would have given it an initial listen and then shelved it. The consistant tone of the album, with its plucked guitar complementing Torrini's delicate vocals nicely give the overall experience of the album a dreamlike quality. Its gentleness and unobtrusive sound make it ideal for comfortable background music, which is not to say that it doesn't offer more for those who would invest time in a more in depth listening. With lyrics that focus on the theme of optimism and patience in times of loss, beautifully delivered with an apparent air of patience that ties in nicely with the understated accoustic blend that supports it, the overall sound of the album is very neatly presented and obviously crafted with a careful consideration with regards to maintaining a sound.

Overall, Fisherman's Woman is not an album with much of an appeal in the mainstream, despite its almost pop inclinations. It is far too delicate to survive outside of its intended audience but with its tight focus and consistant sound, Fisherman's Woman is a great album for those who are either existing fans or enjoy the lighter side of the genre.

You can buy Fisherman's Wife at Amazon, PLAY and all good online record stores. Take a gander at her LAST.FM and MySpace

Do you think its fair to say that creating a blog is on a similar level of awesome to creating a life/monster? I kind of think i overdramatised a bit

As you lay, you can hear winds blowing and rain pouring, splashing hard against the puddles already covering the pavements. It's autumn time and the long nights leave you awake, unable to sleep, trapped indoors. There is no society tonight, everyone else has long been in bed. Your work sits beside you, unfinished. Unstarted even. But something has happened. On this dreary night of November we can finally see the fruit of our toils. It's already gone one o'clock and in the half light of the old low-watt bulb we add the final touches to our convulsing monster, putting the first posts onto the flickering screen.

We want it to be beautiful. Beautiful! Great God! How can we? We are nobody and can't have the skills, the taste, the ideas to make it beautiful, can we? Who are we to try and emulate, through writing, all those that have gone before us. But unlike Victor, we will not abandon our creation to its fate. We will not hate; we will cherish. We will not spurn; we will take it in our arms, add a post here, a post there. They may not be us, but they will be us. Our reviews won't have the validity of an expert, but they will be honest. Our writing won't inspire emotion, but it will, maybe, describe something to you. And what more could you ask for? We have no theme, no guidance. This has been born out of a night of passion, pushed out violently in angry painful bursts, fighting, kicking, screaming against the sterility of the computer screen. Small now, ugly, it will grow as we do, as use it to practice and refine our writing, our ideas. One day, it will be great. It will spread around the world, become famous. Ryan North will read it, Aamir Khan, Simon Shama and of course, greatest of all, Vladimir Putin, who will be our judge, an adjudicator, someone to look up to, someone to aim for. And with an icon like that, our creation will, in our arms, grow great.

Daniel,

For a man of the world, I sure am surprised at your lack of knowledge with regards to Hootchie Kootching.

Trust me, being red hot makes all the difference in that area.